


Lost

by Mari_UC



Series: BirdFlash - Young Justice [13]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 19:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mari_UC/pseuds/Mari_UC
Summary: 'This is nothing. This is what I get for being careless… I’m no longer the Nightwing… I’m just a broken bird. Why should the skin show anything but that?''With that though, He closed his eyes, wishing he still kept that bottle of tequila in the bathroom… Stupid Tim had to come in and throw all my drinks away…'Stupid…





	1. Prelude

**_Now – Two years after Endgame_ **

He crashed into the apartment window and fell face first almost as he entered, his right leg bleeding profusely from the bullet hole. He stood up and jumped in one leg to the bathroom, pushing the door open with more force than he needed. The smell of filth and dirt came strong and he felt his body react to the smell.

He forced himself to ignore it. It doesn’t matter. He wasn’t around people anymore, so why should he care about smells and cleanliness. It’s not like he’s getting any visits now.

_I’m just fighting until I die._

_I’m not needed, I’m not essential anymore. I can bleed and it doesn’t matter…_

_…_

_‘Babe, I need you to promise me…’_

The voice sounds strong and urgent in his mind and draws him out of the stupor of his blood loss. He drags himself through the floor up to the medical cabinet, leaving a blood trail, another one in the dirty bathroom floor.

He takes the cauterizer and puts it atop the wound.

He doesn’t bother with the anesthetics anymore, they only make him groggier and he can hold out the pain. It’s nothing compared to what he’s had to endure. It’s nothing compared to the feeling of the empty bed and the ghost hands all around him.

Still, his muscle and nerve ends don’t agree with him and the pain flares up all across his body making him choke out a scream and his whole leg ends up trembling after the ordeal. He throws the cauterizer and he lets himself breathe the scent of burnt skin, swallowing down the nausea and forcing his stomach to stop turning.

_This is nothing. This is what I get for being careless… I’m no longer the Nightwing… I’m just a broken bird. Why should the skin show anything but that?_

With that though, He closed his eyes, wishing he still kept that bottle of tequila in the bathroom….

_Stupid Tim had to come in and throw all my drinks away…_

_Stupid…_

_…_

_‘Babe, I need you to promise me…’_

He opened his eyes at the memory of the voice and he felt the anger rise within him.

“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!” he screamed at the voice in his head feeling a treacherous tear fall down his cheek and wiping it down violently. “You’re dead! You don’t get to hold me to a promise if you’re dead, _asshole!!_ ”

He whimpered as he felt the world around him turn on its axis and the darkness decided to envelop him.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Four years ago – Two years before Endgame_ **

“I don’t like this”

The smile in Dick’s lips froze as he turned and looked at his boyfriend. The beautiful redhead was looking around the apartment with his lips pressed tightly and an angry scowl. Dick turned around and looked at the apartment again… True, the place was kind of empty, and it wasn’t exactly an apartment, more of a warehouse with a sort of second floor.

It was really dark, there were damp places…

And Dick was pretty sure there were about seven rats nest in the whole place…

“It’s not that bad… I mean, I… I think I can live here. At least for a while, until I get myself a job on the docks. Maybe even in the precinct, that way I have access to police scanners… But… this is pretty much all I can afford at the moment. And before you say anything I am NOT asking Bruce for money. I…”

“I’m not talking about the warehouse, D” Wally stopped him and Dick turned to see him. His green eyes were focused on him and he could see the anger in the posture. The repressed need to grab him and yell at him.

But Dick wasn’t exactly sure…

“What?” he asked confused trying to understand the source of the anger.

“You. Coming to Blüd,” Wally said pointing at him and then waving around “This is nuts. This place is a nightmare, D. This city is _too bloody_ for _Black Mask_. Policemen are sent here as punishment. Highest murder rate in the east coast. Highest suicide rate. Highest policemen assassination rate. Highest kid abduction. I can keep going, D… This… Doing this solo. Not even _Robin_ can do this.”

Dick came closer looking at him with a pang of worry settling on his chest. He had made his mind and had moved over his doubts about coming to Blüdhaven, the city was in disarray and while all Wally was saying was true, it also reinforced his commitment. This city needed something, someone willing to stand up with her. Still, he thought he could see where Wally was going. “Robin won’t,” Dick replied immediately, “Robin is Batman’s protégé. He’s the _sidekick_.” _He_ couldn’t carry the weight of a city on his own, but “I’m coming up with something new. I don’t know what yet… I-”

“ ** _So_** missing the point, D.” Wally interrupted him and Dick took a step closer to him furrowing his brow, not following what was the point then.

He’d talked with Wally about all of this, about needing to leave Bruce and Gotham. “I need something like this, Walls-” he stated trying to make his point again.

“Then come to Central,” Wally said looking ready to pluck his hair off and Dick had to repress the scoff that was about to form on his throat, but Wally kept talking, “Or even better, go to California. There’s lots to do in San Francisco. You can set up a line in the Pacific. Bring in Roy up in Star and Kyle in LA, you can create a blockade for crime coming in from the Pacific. God knows we need more League presence in the West Coast. And you can help your friend move from that fucking _real Roy bullshit._ It’s really starting to affect him.”

Dick thought about it for a second. Wally wasn’t exactly wrong… He could set up shop in San Francisco, and the smuggling and human trafficking lines from America to Asia had grown over the last three years. To control that border, would require a titanic effort, but… “Well, those are all good points, but Blüd’s not a place that I chose just randomly.” Dick said looking at his boyfriend “This place it’s close enough to home… I can still help Babs and I’m not trying to sever all contact with Bruce… I just need… space. And the city _needs_ a hero.”

“Fuck no, this needs a giant bulldozer… tear it down and start over,” Wally scoffed and Dick bristled at him not amused by the _joke_. Wally raised his hands trying to placate him, “Fine. It needs _something_ , but… maybe a little more than just you, you know?”

Dick raised an eyebrow, ‘ _more than just you’._ _What’s that supposed to mean?_ “No, I don’t. Why are you so against this?” Dick asked, he’d been overjoyed to show his boyfriend his hideout and the first place he was going to live alone at. They were supposed to be going over all the stuff they could do here, how to make it homey and still be efficient for the mission.

Instead, Wally was looking at him with a frustrated look, as if he was crazy. “Seriously, D? I just fucking told you!” Wally screamed at him, making Dick take a step back recoiling from the yell. “You told me a bunch of statistics. Ones that actually further my idea to come here,” Dick replied, maybe raising his voice a little as well to match Wally, who just growled at him before snapping.

“Come on, Dick! This... This is… You’re not used to this kind of madness, not alone. Not without-” Wally managed to stop himself before finishing that sentence, but Dick knew exactly what he was about to say. _Not without Batman._

That was it.

That was Wally’s problem.

“Ah! Right,” Dick had to bite hard to prevent himself from snapping but he hissed at his boyfriend between his teeth “So, that’s this whole thing about, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t believe Wally. After all the whole ‘ _don’t call us sidekicks’_ bullshit, _that’s_ where he went? “You don’t think I’m good enough,” Dick said knowing that’s what his boyfriend was going at.

Even if he wasn’t outright saying it, it was his message. You can’t do this alone, not without Bruce.

Wally took a step back and rolled his eyes “ _Seriously_!?” he managed to sound hurt and surprised before huffing and adding “Grow up, D. ‘ _I don’t trust you enough,_ ’ is that really gonna be your angle?” Dick wanted to laugh at him. “No, it’s yours.”

_Don’t try to spin this on me, you’re the one saying I **need** Bruce._

“No, you asshole!” Wally said throwing his arms in the air at super speed causing dust to fly all over and a trail of lightning to follow him “My **angle** is that I don’t want to open a paper and find a picture of my boyfriend riddled with bullets, because he _wanted to_ _punish daddy_.”

“He’s NOT my dad!” Dick screamed pushing Wally seeing red looking at his boyfriend trying to defend himself. _How dares him bringing his family again?_ “And _you_ are not one to talk about _daddy-issues,_ _Wallace West_.” He clicked his tongue seeing Wally fuming at him. Dick took a deep breath, they both knew family was a sensitive issue, and they both knew they only brought it up when they were trying to really hurt each other, to carve a deep insult.

He didn’t wanted that…

He knew Wally didn’t either…

He sighed, this was exactly what he was trying to move _from_ …

“You know what?” Dick said feeling drained, “I’m doing this without the Bat. I can do it without you.” He couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t. Wally was the only reason he felt like waking up some days, the really bad days. They were few and far between, but they happened. Wally helped him through them, the same way the memories of his family did before… He couldn’t keep doing this without Wally, but if he had to… If Wally wasn’t coming into his life to _support_ him, then… “So, if you’re not with me, feel free to get out.”

Wally looked at him with comically open eyes and a disjointed jaw for a second, before he clasped his mouth shut and looked at him hard. “Maybe I will,” Wally said plunging a metaphorical knife in Dick’s chest “I’m sure as hell not going to support your suicidal tendencies, Dick.”

Dick tried as hard as he could to prevent himself from showing any emotion. Imagining all his feelings were a stream and focusing that stream into his veins to calm his heart and freeing his brain so he can think clearly.

_Compartmentalize._

_Robin can’t let his feelings divide his attention._

“Then, go fuck yourself,” he said with a calm clear voice, his mission voice. Wally looked hard at him and then turned around and stormed off, leaving Robin alone in the warehouse. Half a second later the feeling in his veins couldn’t be contained anymore and Dick stood there, feeling empty like the cold building he was standing in, as if the only source of heat in the room were the tears trailing down his cheeks.

-_-_-_-_-

**_Now_ **

The sound of trickling water woke him up and half a second later a sharp pain on his leg had him crouch as he grabbed the place he’d had to cauterize…

_How long ago was it?_

He looked to his phone and saw he’d passed out for nearly an hour.

_Useless…_

He sighed and stood up testing his leg finding the pain numb under his conscious effort to use his leg. He tried a couple steps and ended up having to steady himself against the wall. Or what was supposed to be the wall, but felt really smooth. He looked to his hand and almost surprised himself to see his reflection staring back at him from the bathroom mirror.

He was a mess.

The previously handsome, young and smooth _Dick Grayson_ was now a hollow-eyed man with purplish eye bags, a shabby beard and cracked lips. On the upside, though, his body was far more muscular now, having thrown himself into the mission. Forgetting the distractions of having to bear multiple personas.

He didn’t need to be Dick Grayson, police officer. Nor Richard Grayson, adoptive son of Bruce Wayne. Nor Nightwing even.

He’d shed all of that.

He didn’t need all of the hassle that came from that. And the world didn’t need any of those personas.

Blüdhaven’s police department could do without a police officer.

Brucie Wayne and the Gotham socialites could do without another wealthy wannabe.

The Team could do without a false leader that blows up their base and has a former member killed…

He didn’t…

He’d ceased to be of use to the world. He was only a shadow and a broken bird.

He wasn’t anyone any more, just a ‘ _he’._ And he would live to make this city safe, until his body breaks and he’s no more.

That’s it.

That’s all it is.

He doesn’t need a haircut

He doesn’t need a shave.

He doesn’t need pristine skin and a smiley face.

He…

A rumbling in his stomach reminds him he does need food.

He walked to the kitchen limping hard trying to ease his leg into working normally and failing sadly. He entered the room and opened the door of the fridge letting the only working light on the kitchen bathe over him as he looked, he grabbed the first package he found and smelled it, he held the scent for a second and after realizing it didn’t gave off any rotten smell, he tried a bit. It was some sort of cold meat, he wasn’t sure what though.

He bit into it and deciding it was passable enough, he tore into a piece of bread placed the meat into it and made himself a sandwich.

It was his most common food now a days, other than takeout, a _whatever-sandwich._

He knew either Tim or Babs were the ones constantly breaking in and replenishing his fridge. Looking at the state of the meat, he’d say it has been over a week since the last break in, so he was due a new visit. Hopefully he’ll be passed out enough or out on patrol. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for one of their _pep-talks._

At least Bruce had ended his creepy visits consisting of staring at him from a window and looking at him go on patrol from a gargoyle far away.

After gorging down his sandwich and drinking two glasses of water, he moved into the couch, kicking the pizza box and covering himself with the green knitted blanket Conner had given him. Ma Kent had knitted it for him for his birthday of his favorite color. Wally’s eye color.

She’d gotten the shade perfectly.

It looked worn, it was torn in at least seven places, and it was starting to take a greyish hue, but Dick couldn’t bear the thought of keeping it away, he couldn’t sleep without it. Even the monthly washes were a torture for him, and he’d learnt to schedule them early in the morning, so it would be dry by the time he comes from patrol, otherwise, he just drapes it around him all wet.

A couple months ago, he’d gotten sick from sleeping with it wet; but he had tossed and turned in the couch, unable to sleep, even though his body was protesting from being awake.

Because he might have chosen to let go of everything that tied him, but right before sleep was the scariest time of the day.

Right before sleep, he remembers his laughter. He remembers his voice. He remembers the ghost of his touch on his skin. And then he’ll remember the whirlpool of energy that had taken him away from him. And he’ll feel the knot in his chest.

And the fucking cold he hadn’t been able to exorcise from his body in two fucking years.

It was the reason he slept on the couch now a days. The bed still held too many memories. The ghost skin was imprinted on those sheets and he’ll feel them on his body. He’ll wake up feeling a caress on his skin, and his memory would conjure an image of his hands, the feeling of his naked electric skin, and his heart would soar, only to crash against reality, the reality of a stupid sheet touching his skin, and a cold empty warehouse he’d kid himself into thinking he could grow into an apartment.

So he slept on the couch, with a security blanket.

It was enough.

It was more than he deserved.

Dick Grayson, Robin, Richard, Nightwing… All those persons, all those masks he used to wear might have deserved more. He didn’t.

He’d killed any right for more after his stupid mission had cost him Wally.

Any right he might have had died that day, in that vortex, when his carelessness had killed Wally.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Three years ago – Eight months before Endgame_ **

 

It was _almost_ too hot.

Dick realized he might need to go open up a window or raise the thermostat at least a couple digits. The last one might be a more sensible long term solution, but it would do nothing to ease the heat _right now_.

So, the window it was.

Dick opened an eye and glanced at the window. There was movement on the trees outside. So there was a summer breeze coming from the docks. That cemented his opinion that the window _should_ be opened.

The only problem between Dick wanting the window to be opened, and the window actually being open, was the fact that Dick was _way to comfy_ right now to open his window.

Wally had come home last night, after his final class of the semester ended and they’d been _celebrating his_ _freedom_ last night. As far as Dick remembers, they managed to _celebrate_ five times before Wally had dropped on top of him moaning fully pleased and far too gone. Dick hadn’t had the heart to move him so he’d ended up spending the night with his furnace of a boyfriend draped on top of him.

He’d loved it, until he’d woken up ten minutes ago, far too early in the morning, covered in sweat and having trouble breathing.

That alone would have made him move, but Wally had been cooped up in Palo Alto the last two weeks cramming for the finals to come for a visit, he’d even laid down on the Missions, though Artemis, Conner and Megan had also done the same, so…

Luckily for him, Blüd’s Police Academy admission tests hadn’t lined up with normal College schedule, so he had been able to be there for missions as usual. He’ll have to take time in late August, though.

He hadn’t told Wally yet, so he was sure that was gonna blow up in his face, when he has to cancel some trip his boyfriend probably already has planned for the summer… He’d been too eager telling him about them last weekend, and he hadn’t had the heart to tell him he’ll probably won’t make it.

He’s waiting for the finals schedule to be published, so he can tell his boyfriend the exact dates he’s going to have to be unavailable.

Dick sighed. Now that he’s fully conscious, the heat’s becoming more of a problem.

A couple minutes earlier, he could ignore it in favor of focusing on the feeling of his boy’s skin against his, and the sight of Wally sleeping on his chest.

But now, he’s starting to feel the sheets cling to his back, and he’s painfully aware of the dry cum on his ass, his thighs and his chest. He’s also aware the dry cum in his chest had glued Wally’s arm to him.

_Fuck, we should have stopped for cleaning like Wally had wanted…_

Dick’s partial to blame that on the heat too, though…

Stupid heat makes him groggy and it makes it hard to think ahead.

If he had, thought ahead, he would have known to leave the window open last night, and they could have been able to sleep with the soft summer breeze lulling them. And then, he wouldn’t have to be here, for the past 15 minutes, trying to decide if he’s uncomfortable enough to actually move away from his boyfriend to open it…

It takes other two minutes of sleepy divagation before Dick decides he is, in fact, uncomfortable enough. The sheen of sweat in Wally’s back when he moved his hand to caress him was the final nail. He groaned and moved slowly, trying to slip without waking Wally.

He’d forgotten they were actually glued together and when he tried to move, he ended up yanking Wally’s arm and he groaned awake.

“Sorry, babe, go back to sleep” Dick said softly pressing a kiss on Wally’s temple, and trying to move him to rest on the pillows, a feat that was slightly harder than he’d thought, considering Wally just grabbed him and refused to be moved, with a soft groan before he muttered a soft and sleepy “N’t go…”

Dick almost laughed at his boyfriend clinginess, and he replied voice clear with fondness “Not going anywhere, just opening the window.” It still took a little more coaxing that cemented Dick’s idea that Wally wasn’t actually awake. Which was absolutely adorable, because it actually meant even unconscious he didn’t wanted to be away from Dick. Sliding out of the bed, Dick wondered for the umpteenth time why the hell he’d been so worried and jealous just a couple months ago about his boyfriend leaving him.

He walked quickly over to the window, and opened the wooden frame letting a current of morning summer breeze wash over him, and taking away all the heat from his skin. The sweat on his skin actually started to refresh him, and he closed his eyes, letting himself get lost on the nice feeling.

He stayed there with his eyes closed for a good couple of minutes. The wind not only felt nice on his skin, it also smelled good, it smelled of sea and summer and mornings. A rare scent, considering the smell of the sea so close to the docks usually consisted of rotten fish, oil and metal.

But not today.

Today it was nice.

For a second he worried about the fact that he was standing naked in front of the window, but he chose to ignore the worries. He was on a second floor, in a warehouse, and this window actually faced the docks, and he’d chosen this room as his bedroom, partially because this window didn’t actually had a clear line of sight from any of the adjacent buildings.

If someone was spying on him, they had to be doing it with a binocular lens from at least 300 yards away, from the rooftops of one of the main dock warehouses. And even then, the view was obscured by the telephone tower.

If even then, someone was actually catching a glimpse of his private bits… well, they could enjoy the view, Dick was far too happy standing there, being cooled by the wind to actually care.

He wasn’t sure how much time he stood there, but it had to have been a good couple of minutes, because his skin was already dry and his nipples were starting to protest the excess wind, so he turned around and walked to the bathroom, to clean himself a little.

He opened the faucet, and splashed his face and neck with cold water, dampening his hair and letting the drops of water trail down his shoulders, feeling a shiver as a couple renegade drops traveled down his spine.

He dampened a clean towel and proceeded to clean the dry sweat and cum from his body. He put a leg on the toilet and started cleaning his backside, feeling a shiver as he remembered the previous night.

Somewhere during the night, Wally’s eyes had gone fiercely green and he’d pressed Dick against the mattress while kissing him, devouring his mouth and demanding control, it had been one of the sexiest, hottest and more mind-blowingly good kisses Dick could remember. If he hadn’t come just a couple minutes ago, he would have again, just from that kiss. After they separated for air, Wally had kept pressing Dick against the mattress and without uttering a sound he’d grabbed one of Dick legs, raised it, and rest it on his shoulder.

Dick hadn’t been proud of the way he’d trembled as he moaned a loud _God, yeah babe._

Half a second later, he had two fingers scissoring his ass open, and two minutes later, he was _filled_ with _all of_ _Wally_. He wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d jumped up and down fucking himself of Wally’s cock, nor that he’d come alarmingly fast.

Wally had taken his time inside of him and Dick had loved every second of it.

And right now, cleaning himself of the mess Wally had left inside of him, the one he’d been too lazy to clean properly last night, he felt himself twitch and a part of him mourned the fact that Wally didn’t top him more often.

It might be good to press him a little bit about it. Wally had certainly enjoyed himself last night, so maybe he was just being weirded out for some reason. Wally still had a hard time talking about sex and love openly, he always ended up red and spluttering.

Already clean, Dick washed and then wetted the towel again and went back to his boyfriend, who’d gone back to sleep, he moved him softly and pressed the towel on his face, cleaning it softly first before moving down. When he was on his neck, Wally opened a single eye before closing it back again and muttering “U’ ‘b’ck?” Dick hummed focused on his task of cleaning his boyfriend “It’s hot, I just thought this might freshen you up.”

“U’r the h’t ’n, b’be,” Wally said with his sleepy voice and Dick laughed heartedly at his boy’s teasing flirty self, he’d toned it down a lot after coming out, but it still came from time to time and it reminded Dick of the outspoken free boy he’d fallen in love many years ago.

It had saddened him a lot knowing so many facets of his boyfriend had been faked in the spirit of _seeming normal_ , but on the other hand, it had also meant he’d gotten to discover a whole new person, one no longer bound by that internalized hate. A person who was soft, a bit of an introvert, one that didn’t share his feelings openly, but that loved with all his heart once you walk through all the barriers.

It had been hard, but…

_God_.

Dick had thought he’d loved Wally back when they had started dating. He’d thought he’d loved him with all his being. And he might have, but if he had, then there was no word for the feeling he had right now. If that back then was love, _this_ was impossible _._

It was like every week he discovered something new to love, something new to _feel_. Not everything was good. He’d disliked the _need_ he felt for Wally. He’d hated learning about his own jealousy.

He _despised_ the feeling he got when they fought.

But… If it allowed him a quiet morning of him, taking care of his boy after a night of sex and fun. If it allowed him the sight of his boyfriend asleep in his arms, open, vulnerable and trusting.

If it allowed him this _enveloping_ sense of _good_.

It was fucking worth it.

And then, the bubble of goodness was broken suddenly.

A loud beep had him on his feet and running to his bedside table as Wally sat alert on bed and turned to his own, both of them looking at their respective phones. _Red Alert._

Dick looked at his phone confused for a second when he found the screen was dark and there was no red message, but the sense disappeared when he heard Wally’s curse on his side.

It was a personal alert.

For Wally.

Wally, who was standing there naked looking at his phone one second and then the next one there was a lightning trail and an empty space. It was only his three years of experience after dating, and his more than six years of just knowing him that allowed him to pinpoint the location where he’ll stop after suiting up.

“What is it?” he asked looking at the door of the bathroom, a fraction of a second before the speedster, all clad in yellow and red, stopped at that precise spot, only his goggles off-place.

“Rogues’ sighting. Six of them. Apparently there are several simultaneous attacks, and some hostages.” He said off handedly, like he was reciting Flash’s message. Which he probably was.

“Do you need Team response?” Dick offered at once, if there was hostages, it could get ugly. And The Rogues were known for their thinking, they might have accounted for safety measures to take down _both_ speedsters.

“Maybe,” Wally said mulling over the information he had, “I’ll go check, and let the Team know,” he decided after half a second while finishing safety checks on his suit at normal speed.

He always did that, a drill Flash had instilled on him since the beginning. Dick had also heard it a lot of times. ‘ _Don’t rush safety checks. Think fast, but do them slow._ ’

He’d taken that saying to heart for whenever he did the belt checks. He’d also told it to Bruce, who’d stared at him weirdly when he said Barry had been the one to say it. It still cracked him up to know Bruce had stolen the line and taught it to Tim and Jason…

The thought of Jason made Dick swallow hard and a knot formed in his belly looking at his boyfriend going away…

He shook those thoughts away, he might need Team coordination, so Dick shook off his thoughts and got up to start getting ready to leave. Wally, however, had other ideas, as he stared him down as he said “No. I’ll call the Team. _You_ are off rotation, so stay there, looking pretty while the hero saves the day,” Dick stared at him for a second before flipping him off with a scowl, which got a full laugh from Wally. Still, he laid back down in the bed as his speedster ran out leaving a trail of lightning and air behind.

After he left, Dick allowed himself a little smile, thinking on ways to _reward_ his _hero_ for _saving the day._

He was _so_ making Wally eat those words.

-_-_-_-_-

**_Now_ **

A sudden burst of movement jolts him awake and he sits upright in his couch grabbing the eskrima sticks and pointing them on the throat of the assailant…

Who screams and falls back on his ass surprised at the sudden move, Dick’s about to move when the familiar messy auburn hair and wide green eyes stare back at him. “ _Bart_?” he mutters surprised as he moves to sit, taking away his sticks, his movement is stopped as a sharp pain on his leg has him hissing and cursing out loud.

_Right. The bullet wound._

He chooses to ignore the pain as there are more pressing matters in his mind “What happened, Bart? Why are you here?”

Bart rarely came by his warehouse.

Dick had invited him out of courtesy many times, but secretly, he was glad the speedster, the new Kid Flash, didn’t came often. He knew it wasn’t fair, and he knew he was being an asshole, but two years in, and he still didn’t like the idea of someone else wearing his boyfriend’s suit.

Bart had told him Wally had given it to him, during the fight on the Cave. But Dick still couldn’t wrap his head around it.

He kind of hated himself for it.

Yet another thing to add on the list.

But still… Bart showing up at his place, it was weird.

Unless…

“I asked them to come,”

_Of-Fucking-Course_

Why else would Bart break into his house?

Because his _team leader_ asked him to.

“Hi, Tim,” Dick said to the voice behind him, without even turning, and without bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

Tim might be his brother, and his relationship with him was way better than it ever was with Jason. But, for the past year, Tim had put on this _responsible brother_ act that had started touching, moved into invasive and was already way passed _fucking annoying_.

Tim walked into view and his glare told him his tone had _not_ been appreciated. He actually bit his lip and felt ashamed at talking like that to his baby brother, so he was tempted to correct course, but Tim beat him before he was able to, “I asked them here, because you got shot and then went dark for 8 hours, Dick. I had to check two safe houses closer to the site before coming here. And then I walked into that bathroom… _God, Dick!_ You know your own bathroom is covered in blood trails, right?°

It said a lot about the state of his brother, that he’d started rambling. Tim… quiet, collected, calm Tim was rambling as he talked to him, and Dick felt the shame increase as he sat there listening. Tim was right, last night had been really hard for him.

He’d detached himself again.

It had been a while since it happened, a while since he stopped thinking of himself as Dick or Nightwing.

_Fuck._

“I’m worried about you, Dick. This…” Tim continued looking at him and biting his bottom lip, hard enough it started to look white. “Babs sent me the last surveillance videos. You’ve grown careless.” Tim’s accusation rang hard on Dick’s ears and he cleared his throat and stood looking at his brother with, what he hoped, was a comforting smile.

“I know, Tim,” he said coming closer and putting a hand on his shoulder “But you don’t need to worry, despite appearances, I’m not suicidal,” his joke fell absolutely flat on the two kids who simply stared at him, unresponsive. Dick’s smile froze and he decided to change tactics, getting serious immediately. “Last night was just hard, ok? You really don’t need to worry.”

Tim’s narrowed eyes and closed face tells him he made a mistake, which is proven by his cold voice as he mutters an incredulous “ _Last night_?” Tim huffed and swatted Dick’s hand from his shoulder looking at him angrily, though Dick’s not exactly sure at what. “Dick, this is not about last night! Last night was just the last drop; for fuck’s sake look at how you’re living! Are you saying you grew that beard overnight? Or this mess, did it happened last night? What about the food, the clothes, your body?!” Tim was gesturing wildly at his apartment and at all of himself, and each word felt like a dagger on Dick’s heart, but at the same time, it started to fuel his initial annoyance. So what if he’s a little disorganized, it’s not like he gets a lot of visitors. And his beard… yeah, he’s let himself go, but he didn’t care too much.

The real problems were nights like last night. He’d still failed to pinpoint the exact triggers for that detachment state he sometimes felt, where he failed to see _himself_ , last night had come suddenly, after seeing two guys harassing a couple of prostitutes near the red district. He’s taken them down brutally, and then moved to the next and next fight not stopping until he was shot on the leg and forced to go hiding, but instead of going to his hideout, he’d arrived here.

So, he kind of got where Tim was going, but still… “Look, the episodes are-“

Tim clicked his tongue annoyed and cut him off. “Dick, this isn’t about the episodes anymore! You’re letting _this_ become your life.”

Tim tried to take a step forward but Dick pushed him back. Tim’s hurt showed on his face as he forced himself to stay at arm’s length “Please, Dick,” he said with a soft voice “You need to get better, you need to come back to the Team. We can’t lose another member, we need you there. And Bruce… Bruce can’t lose another son, Dick. He _can’t_.”

Dick took a step back at that and he growled at the low hit. Bringing up not only Wally but also Jason was too much, even for Tim, who had never been afraid to use any weapon at his disposal to make a conversation go _his_ way. He was like Batman in that respect.

And that was the last thing Dick wanted right now. So he huffed and hardened his voice. “What do you want me to do, then?” he asked looking at Tim “The pills aren’t working, the therapy is a joke…”

“Come to the Manor” Tim countered immediately and Dick scoffed at that swatting his hand and rolling his eyes. Bruce had made that sell two years ago, so had Tim, at least once a month. His reaction was always the same, “Just for a couple days, Dick, just-” Dick huffed again and tried to turn around, but Tim grabbed his arm and Dick felt electricity ran through his body and he swatted Tim harshly growling “I said, no!” as he pushed Tim hard against the far wall making him fall looking surprised and hurt.

Before he had a time to process his reaction, a hand closed hard on his shoulder and a very familiar voice protested with a hard “Hey!”

Dick looked up to see Conner looking at him with a mixture of anger and confusion. It’s only now that Dick realized he hadn’t actually wondered why Tim had said ‘ _I asked **them’**_ **,** and not ‘ _him’_ when explaining Bart’s presence in his apartment. He briefly wondered if there were more Team members hiding somewhere.

Dick huffed shaking that thought and shrugged for Conner to let him go while Tim stood up and looked back at him with his lips pressed together, probably holding the tirade of insults reading on the tip of his tongue. Dick sighed calming himself, and remembering he didn’t actually wanted to fight with Tim. “I’m ok, Tim,” he said trying to calm him “I really am. Look, I know you mean well, but all of this is you barging into my apartment and disrupting my life. I tended my resignation to the Team, I had already left the Manor years before… _everything_. I’m me, on my own, and I’m ok being like that,” he finished coming closer trying to open himself to Tim, making him understand, that he needed the space.

He didn’t walked away from Bruce and the Team in a whim. Being alone is what he needs right now.

He has to make Tim understand, because coming here, with the new Kid Flash, with his old teammate… It’s just too much, and Dick doesn’t need that.

Not when just under 12 hours ago he got into one of his episodes and ended up with a bullet hole and a new burn mark he doesn’t even wants to think about.

Dick knows he’s not well.

For the past year and a half he’s been getting what they’ve gotten to call his _episodes_. Brief periods of time where he detaches himself from his own body, like he’s a doll playing at being _him_. He remembers most of what he does during these periods, which is what has allowed him to push back the idea of locking himself on Arkham or getting to see a shrink. He remembers all of it.

And he’s not delusional during those episodes either.

He’s seen the recordings of his actions, he’s narrated them, and he once asked Babs to oversee the images and narrate them to him; what he sees and what he remembers from those moments are what _actually_ happened.

Really, the only difference during those periods of time, is the feeling of _not being himself._ Feeling like he’s no longer Dick, or Nightwing. And some self-deprecation too, well, _more_ self-deprecation, really. He does that a bit too when he’s lucid.

He only notices the episodes once they’re over. And he’s failed to find any triggers. He also has failed to notice any conduct that might alert him of one of his episodes coming.

But, he’s not overly concerned, really. A year and a half and all he’s got is a single shot wound.

Ok, fine. He can agree he’s dealing with the depression in a bad way, and he knows his grief management skills are horrendous.

_But…_

He doesn’t need Tim and Bruce and Alfred all looking at him weirdly, trying to act like he’s made of glass and the whole world is out to break him.

_He can’t._

And quite frankly, he doesn’t need grief management lessons from _Bruce Wayne_. Been there, done that. Not really a fan of the outcome.

Tim, however, seems utterly unconvinced, as he huffs angrily at him ( _again_ ) before taking a deep breath and talking with his _mission_ voice “No longer a Team member, no longer a Wayne, barely even a bat, that’s it?” he summarizes correctly, and Dick nods with a cautious look at Tim’s features, he knows the kid is about to try to dismantle his argument, and Tim can be really vicious with his arguments when he-

“So what’s next? Are you no longer my brother either?”

 

Dick stood there looking at Tim’s wounded face, not able to follow that train of thought.

_No longer my brother._

It took a horrifying second for that thought to be processed and then Dick blinked and his whole body reacted when he saw the hurt, and realized Tim had _actually_ asked him that. “No!” he cried horrified, taking a step closer to Tim, “What? No, Tim! Why would you…?”

Tim’s one in three people in the world considers family. The idea of no longer being Tim’s brother. The idea of _losing_ him. Like he lost Jason, like he lost Wally.

Tim moved closer and put a hand on Dick’s shoulder “Then you can’t ask me not to worry, not to _barge_ _in,_ ” Tim said, “That’s what families do.”

Dick swallowed hard, covering Tim’s hand on his shoulder with his own. He nodded slowly, looking directly at Tim’s open eyes. His normally guarded, _thoughtful_ almost comically robot-like eyes, being so open in his hurt, his worry, his _need_ to help.

He stayed there in a silent conversation, trying to convey his own need, and digesting Tim’s words and thinking that _maybe_ he’s right.

He smiled at Tim, signaling him that he’ll consider the conversation.

That, _maybe_ , he needs his family with him.

They stayed like that for a couple of seconds before Bart’s voice brought him back into the present. “Wow. _That_ was… moded.” Bart’s usually overly energetic voice seemed drained and uncomfortable. Which was weird, because as far as he’d known the kid, he was the kind of person who let situational awareness fly way over his head. Then, Tim smiled at him and Bart smiled back and continued talking at a slightly faster pace. “But, you know, as Ma Kent keeps saying, nothing a good meal can’t fix. So, why don’t we have some breakfast, huh? Now. If my math is right, with the four of us we add up to about zero chances to work out a palatable meal, so _any suggestions for a take-out? I keep hearing about these sloppy joe things… they’re from around here, right? I don’t know where to get them, though?_ ”

Dick wanted to smile at him and nodded giving him a small phonebook of the businesses around he’d gotten on his mailbox earlier that year. Bart’s excited ‘ _Dude, a phonebook, super-retro!’_ made him smile again and he couldn’t help but notice he’d had smiled three times in the last minute or so…

And that was about three times more than last week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair Warning, Conner is quite OOC in this fic, but mostly because we're only seeing Dick's POV.

 

**_Three years ago – A little over a year before endgame_ **

“I can’t…”

Dick smiled at his boyfriend and stole the letter from his hands with a fake suffering sigh “If you can’t, then I’ll open it” he said dangling the letter in front of him.

It honestly surprised him Wally didn’t immediately jumped to snatch it back. Like he’d done with the two previous letters he’d received, two letters that were currently safely stored in Wally’s desk in his room.

This time, he remained sat on the couch looking at Dick with big green scared eyes, before swallowing hard and nodding.

Nodding as in assenting.

To Dick opening the letter.

It suddenly became very clear to Dick, that Wally was actually scared.

Which was stupid.

He’d already been accepted in CalTech and in Princeton. The two letters of acceptance had come in last week. Wally had been over the moon with getting a double yes.

Two out of three.

But, he also knew Wally really wanted to go to Stanford. It was his dream college.

It was something about a one of his physics personal hero being a lecturer there and some courses he wanted to take. Personally, Dick wanted him to go to Princeton, he could be really close to Blüd and they could share a house together and everything.

Although, judging from Wally’s hesitance to even open the letter, he realized how much he wanted this.

_Well, no time like the present!_

He carefully opened the envelope.

“Let’s see…” Wally groaned and his legs started vibrating before he dropped on the couch and covered his head with a cushion. Dick chuckled a little at his boyfriend while he took out the letter.

He couldn’t help a little anticipation sweep into his body as he saw Stanford’s stationary at the top of the letter. He decided to read the letter aloud.

“Stanford University” he read, earning a groan from Wally “March 2014. Wallace Rudolph West. 235 25th East Road. Central City. Missouri. Dear Wallace,” he quickly read the next word and had to fight very hard not to let anything escape in his voice.

He felt a tingling all over his body and stopped reading as a bit of dramatic effect. Wally’s groan under the cushion had him smiling. He knew the next word would mean the world to his boyfriend.

“Congratulations!” he read and stopped a fraction of a second. His boyfriend’s body stood still for a second and then the cushion flew to the side and his boyfriend’s green eyes were looking at him huge, happy and somewhat disbelieving. Dick kept reading. “It is with great pleasure that I inform you of your admission to the Stanford University Class of 2018. The Committee-”

Dick wasn’t able to continue as Wally yelled and flashed to his side snatching the letter from his hand, he couldn’t be mad, though, as Wally looked at the letter and he saw trails of lightning in his eyes as he read the letter in super speed, and before he had a chance to say anything. Wally made a weird sound with his throat before yelling a _Woohoo_ and jumping high and then turning around and wrapping himself around him.

“I’m in, D. I’m in… I did it…” he yelled to his neck and Dick laughed and held him strongly as Wally rocked him from side to side. “I’m in! God, I’m in!” Wally kept jumping and finally threw them both in the couch laughing. Wally then moved up and caught his lips with a short passionate kiss “God, D. I’m in!”

Dick laughed a little more and moved so Wally was firmly on top of him “I know. I never doubted you. Three out of three, babe. You’re amazing.”

Wally blushed hard at that and Dick kissed him in the tip of the nose, which had him blushing a little more and smiling wider. “So, I guess it’s Stanford, then?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess,” he said resting his chin on Dick’s chest. “God, this is so weird…” Wally said, probably thinking about everything that entailed entering into college. Dick was kind of happy he still had a year and a half before worrying over that. Maybe he’ll go with his own idea about the Police Academy. “Good weird though…” Wally finished, bringing Dick back.

“You’re still sure about moving?” he asked serious looking at his boy, who bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah. I’ve told you, Aunt I and Uncle B deserve some privacy, and so do I…”

Dick nodded understanding, they’d talked about this a couple times. He smiled thinking about those conversations. “You could still come to Blüd…” he offered, like he always did, it could be so good, the two of them living together.

“Maybe…” Wally said kissing Dick’s chest through his shirt, “California’s really expensive, so I’ll have to see. The scholarship does cover some housing costs… Might be hard to get them to take a lease on Blüd, though…” Dick started thinking about ways to trick the federal government program into giving Wally the money to pay for a house in Blüd when the front door opened, and Iris entered the room.

Dick stiffened a little, though Iris and Barry already were pretty much cool with their PDA, whenever it didn’t involve nudity. And they were 100% clothed.

Iris smiled and offered a soft “Hey boys” that was cut short by Wally flashing up to her with a huge grin and handing her the letter. Her squeal must have been heard all the way to California and Dick laughed a little as she jumped to Wally giving him a bear hug and telling him how proud she was.

Half a second later, Iris was fighting back tears and both Wally and Dick looked at each other horrified as she tried to get her bearings back, she insisted they were happy tears, but half a second later, as she talked about how proud she was and how happy he was making her, Wally was also crying and Dick smiled softly watching the sweet moment of Wally and her mother figure trying to contain themselves and only succeeding in bringing more and more sentimental stuff that made them crack up one second, and cry the next.

He smiled and moved over as they both sat on the couch hugging one another.

It was obvious Wally had already broken the news that he was moving away, and as Dick had already known, Iris also gathered that Stanford was the choice. So the fact that he was moving out came out pretty much immediately.

Barry entered half an hour later, to find a half asleep Wally on top of a red-eyed Iris and Dick walking in with two mugs of chamomile tea. He went on high alert, before Iris gave him the letter and he threw himself to Wally hugging him and taking a picture of the letter to “brag in the CSU”.

Two minutes later, Dick was walking back into the kitchen to boil water for third cup of chamomile for a second teary-eyed speedster, wondering how the hell he’d gotten involved with such an overly emotional family.

Of course, the fact that he’d escaped to the kitchen to prevent himself from crying with them was consciously and properly ignored.

-_-_-_-_-

**_Now_ **

The sloppy joes and thin crusted pizzas were supposed to arrive in twenty minutes, so Dick had locked himself in the kitchen under the pretense of cleaning the dishes they would need. It wasn’t a total lie, he just couldn’t deal with all the looks directed at him anymore.

Tim had brought up a real issue, though.

This wasn’t the episodes anymore.

Sure, they were a mess, and he should have been more careful in following Black Canary’s advice, but he was devolving too fast into a spiral. He remembered the conversation he’d had over two years ago with Roy, before he’d been proven right about the existence of little Roy.

The _intervention_.

He almost laughed when he started drawing comparisons between his own situation and Roy’s. They’d both been disheveled, they’d both taken a hit on their skills, and he remembers just last night thinking he’d been in the best shape of his life. Hadn’t Roy used the exact same words to him, back then?

He looked at his reflection on the metallic surface of the fridge.

_What the hell, Dick…_

He sighed. He needed to stop this…

He needed…

_Fuck, I need Wally._

Dick swallowed that thought and let himself breathe a couple times to regulate his heartbeat before scraping the dried food off the dishes.

He couldn’t think like that.

He finished drying the glasses and put everything on a tidy mountain before leaving and putting them on the table, he moved back to grab the cutlery and when he walked back into the living room, he didn’t quite made it back to the table, his whole body freezing and the cutlery going all over the place.

Right in front of him, there was an impossible situation.

Something… that honestly didn’t make much sense…

Because it really _looked_ like Conner... His _good old friend_ , Conner.

The Conner that had been a very good friend for those seven years.

 **That** Conner…

He seemed to be hugging, and _touching_ and _groping_ and **_pushing his tongue_** into Tim’s mouth.

His _baby brother_ Tim.

His **_barely legal_** _baby brother_ Tim _._

…

 

_Maybe I need to reconsider the whole ‘I’m not delirious’ thing._

Or maybe not, since Conner and Tim each jumped almost half a feet when the cutlery fell on the floor and both turned to look at him, and Tim was beet red and was about to start stammering, and Conner was looking everywhere but to him.

_Oh._

_Nope,_

_No, no, no…_

“So…” Tim started talking touching his wrist. He was nervous. He only did that when he was nervous…

_Oh, hell, no._

“I’ve been meaning to tell you… We’re… kind of… together,” he finished, and Dick’s brain was still in a pretty deep state of denial, so he tilted his head waiting for the reboot while he asked a dumbfounded “What?”

Tim swallowed and said “Yeah… We… I mean, after the whole fiasco with Cassie… We started to talk, you know, and we kinda bonded… and, well, one thing led to another… so…”

But Dick wasn’t really listening, because a couple of words were still echoing in his brain.

Conner and Tim were _kind of… together._

Together.

As in _in a relationship._

His baby brother was in a relationship with Conner.

With Superboy.

A flashing image of Wally running out of the Watchtower to go to the North Pole suddenly came to his mind.

“No,” he said strongly, breaking out of the mental image and focusing on Tim. There was no way, he’s letting the same thing happen to his brother.

“Sorry?” Tim said dumbfounded and Dick took a step and grabbed Tim from his arm pushing him away from Conner. “You can’t be together.”

They couldn’t, Tim was not about to start dating in the Team, he was not about to lose him too.

“What do you mean we _can’t_ be together?” Tim said slowly with barely concealed venom in his voice.

Dating in the Team was a bad idea. Conner and Megan, and him and Wally _proved_ that.

Hell, even Tim’s relationship with Cassie went up in flames in a spectacularly messy way.

It simply didn’t work.

 “You can’t. Sorry, no. Not happening,” Dick repeated looking between Tim and Conner. This was just a recipe for disaster.

Conner was a nice guy, but he was a loose cannon. He wasn’t ruled by anger anymore and the seven years of experience had given him a calming presence. But he still was a hot-head when someone he cared about was in danger.

He was careless.

And Tim… Tim was a Bat.

He was the Bat-est of all the Bats in Gotham. He was too much like Bruce…

 “Dude… relax…” Conner said, and Dick realized he had started to tighten his grip on Tim’s arm and his vision was starting to get blurry. Conner moved to touch him and in that moment, Bart flashed into the apartment.

A trail of lightning and he was standing there…

“Hey, what’s going on, I heard-”

A… lightning…

A…

Conner’s hand connected with his arm and it send a bolt of energy through his body, he slapped the hand away as he yelled “No, Conner! You’re **_not_** dating my brother!”

Conner and Bart’s faces showed the shock they were feeling, and Tim managed to get away from his grip and turned to face him. Everyone stayed like that for a fraction of a second before Bart cut through the frozen scene. “Wait… You didn’t-”

Dick didn’t let him finish. He turned to Tim.

Logical Tim.

Analytical Tim.

He just needed to make him understand… make him see the error in what he was doing.

If he manages to have a clear conversation, keep a cool head, he will understand.

“You need to break it up, whatever this is,” Dick said with a finality in his voice he’d gotten from years of managing a team of Teen superheroes.

“Excuse me?” Tim said with a tight voice with his eyes narrowing at him.

Dick huffed, “I said you need to-”

“Oh, I know what you _said_ ,” Tim cut him off before he could get an argument in. “I want to know what you mean by that.” Tim’s condescending tone got into his nerves and his attempt as a cool head went off the window.

He just squared his shoulders at him and faced him head on.

“You,” he said pointing at Tim, “And you,” he added turning and pointing Conner, “Break it up,” he finished and gestured with his hands as if he was breaking a twig.

“Listen, _Dick,_ ” Years of experience hearing his name turned into a swear gave him enough of a callous not to flinch at his brother’s tone, but he continued on, “I know you’re messed up, but you have _no say_ in my personal life,” Tim was glaring at him and Dick huffed rolling his eyes.

“Like hell, I don’t. I’m your older brother and senior. You break it up, or-”

“Or, what? You _fucki-_ ”

“Tim!” Conner yelled interrupting his brother’s probably colorful expletives.

_Fuck, Tim was really furious now._

Tim wasn’t like Jason, who had had a knack for over the top, ingenious insults, and then bloody fist fights when really angry. Tim wasn’t like him either, who channeled that anger into biting comments and scathing remarks, almost never resorting to a fight.

Tim was too _collected_ for that… most of the time.

Except when he was mad, when he was _really mad_. Then, he was a fucking sailor.

It was _fuck this_ , _suck on that_ and sending everyone and their mother _to the fucking pits of hell_. He cursed like the insults were his punctuation marks. It wasn’t inventive and it got repetitive, but fuck, it was effective.

Funny enough, excessive cursing was usually followed by glacial silence, which was about the moment you should run for the hills.

Conner must have known it too, since he stopped him at the first curse.

And Dick was kind of surprised Tim stopped and was about to digress about that, when Conner turned to him and said, “Dick, a word.”

Conner moved without waiting for a reply, walking with a purposeful gait.

 _Great, he’s also mad_.

Dick turned around and followed Conner to his room, closing his door violently, making Conner turn around and stare at him angrily.

_Two can play that game, asshole._

Dick stood there glaring at Conner for a whole two seconds, before the clone huffed and crossed his arms sitting on his bed.

His bed, which was _made_.

_When…?_

Dick turned around and looked at his room noticing now that it was _clean_. He hadn’t seen this room clean in… well, nearly four months really. The last couple of times Tim and Babs had showed up, they’d focused on cleaning the kitchen and living room, neither of them wanting to enter the bedroom.

Dick avoided coming here too… It was… It was too much.

He huffed annoyed and rolled his eyes willing his mind to leave that train of thought.

If they wanted to waste their time cleaning after him, he wouldn’t stop them. He’d tried, for the first couple of months. Now, he thought it gave them a sense of fulfillment, like cleaning the rooms somehow meant they were helping him; so he let them.

He focused his gaze on Conner, who was still looking at him, although slightly less angry. “What happened to you, Dick?”

The question took him by surprise for a second, before he groaned and replied, “Nothing, Conner,” he said trying to sound annoyed “And we’re not talking about me,” he reminded him looking at Conner severely. They are talking about the fact that Conner was shoving his tongue on his brother, and that it apparently had been happening regularly for some time now.

“Aren’t we?” Conner replied with a raised eyebrow and Dick felt oddly exposed looking at his old friend. Dick huffed indignant and Conner just stayed there looking at him, meeting his gaze making him feel naked.

He sighed under the scrutiny and decided to be front and change the subject, “Why didn’t you tell me you two were dating?” he asked and Conner looked at him for a second, before giving in and replying, “Tim had a feeling you’ll take it the wrong way…” Conner confessed, leaving the judgment patent in his voice.

Dick read a lot more in that statement than Conner wanted to say.

Or maybe he read exactly what Conner wanted to say.

_I didn’t wanted to hide it, Tim did._

_Tim was the one who thought you’ll overreact, not me. He was right, though._

_You were wrong in your reaction. I’m disappointed._

Dick sighed looking at him. “You can’t date him, Conner,” he saw the way Conner tensed up immediately at that, and Dick wanted to say something else to try and convince him, maybe de-escalate the half-kryptonian’s known anger.

But Conner blinked twice before saying with a calmed tone “You have to know that’s not happening.”

Dick growled at him, “He’s my _baby brother_ , Conner.” The clone actually smiled at that and winked, “Technically, I’m seven, so he’s ten years older than me.”

Dick gave him his best unimpressed look before rolling his eyes, “Yeah, that makes it sound so much better…” he said huffing and Conner’s smile grew for an instant at his discomfort before settling on a sad smile, “Come on, Dick we both know we’re old enough.”

“He’s a child,” Dick tried, again, knowing he was fighting a lost battle. “No, he’s not,” Conner said looking him straight in the eye, before his smile turned sly and playful, “Trust me, he wasn’t when we got together, and he _definitively_ isn’t now.”

Dick just stared dumbfounded at Conner for half a second, before his meaning swept into his mind and he closed his eyes trying to prevent the mental images. “Nope, we’re not going there… We’re not talking about that…” he said shaking his head to the amusement of Conner.

They stood there for a couple seconds in silence, with Dick trying his best not to imagine his friend and his baby brother in bed, before Conner sighed deeply and patted at the bed next to him. “So, why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re being an asshole to Tim.”

“This is not a good idea Conner…” Dick replied sitting next to him, his leg was killing him after all, and the bed was just the right height for him to sit comfortably without flexing his leg too much. He saw Conner rolling his eyes, but then he noticed he was tensing up.

“Is this about Tim dating, or about him dating me?” he asked and Dick turned to look at Conner, noticing the way he had his hands intertwined and was looking intently at the floor ahead of them, “Because, it’s kind of hard not taking it personal, since you didn’t made a scene when you learnt about him and Cassie.”

Dick looked at Conner for a second actually considering his question.

_Why hadn’t he been bothered by the whole Tim/Cassie thing?_

Because it wasn’t the same.

Tim and Cassie were both the same age. They’d both been through a lot together. They… They made sense…

Tim and Conner…

They… There was little…

_Oh, cut the crap._

That wasn’t it. And he was just tormenting Conner by making him believe he didn’t thought he was good enough for Tim. But that was not it at all.

Because it wasn’t about Conner or Cassie.

“It’s not about you, it’s about Tim…” he answered honestly, and Conner turned to look at him confused, “It’s about the look on his face when he was kissing you. I _know_ that look. It’s…” _It’s the same look I used to give Wally_.

It was one of the things he had noticed.

It was the thing that had made his insides turn and twist at seeing Conner and Tim. Because for a second, Tim had looked at Conner and… he was in love. Tim was in love with Conner. It was so fucking plain on his face and Dick hadn’t known that… he hadn’t known when that had happened or how… and it was scary because… “He’s gonna walk to the missions looking to your eyes and he’s gonna stop looking at his teammate. He’s-”

Conner huffed angrily interrupting his line of thought, “I know what dating in the Team involves, Dick. Megan and I kind of invented the concept.”

“Tim’s not Megan, Conner!” He yelled at him, “He’s not you, he… He’s like me. Like Bruce.” He was a Bat. Above everything else. More than anyone else.

Tim had that single-minded laser focus _robot_ thing Batman had. And he had even less self-preservation than anyone else.

He’d gone out alone at night to take pictures of Batman.

He’d walked straight up through Blüdhaven to look for him to convince him to get back to Bruce.

He had to be reminded not to take unnecessary risks because the fucking _robot_ didn’t saw getting himself blown up or have an organ ripped off to be _unnecessary risks_ if the mission called for it. If he could save a life.

It made him a good hero.

It also made for a fucking _anxiety disorder_ if you were his brother/team leader

And now…

Now he’s going to have something that is more precious to him than the mission.

Someone worth more than anything he’s been fighting for.

And Conner didn’t get that.

He didn’t.

Wally had understood it. He had understood, from early on, what it meant for Dick to date him.

He’d known how to help him compartmentalize.

He’d seen Dick struggle with keeping with the mission, so he knew how to _be_ with him.

“You don’t get it… what it’s like for people like us, to date… to love. It’s not just about the relationship or the feelings, it’s more than that. It’s compromising the whole system. To be able to do what we do, we need the compartmentalization, we need to have control… It’s the reason Bruce doesn’t date; it’s the reason I shouldn’t have…”

It burnt his throat to say that.

To say that he regretted ever dating Wally.

Being with him had been the best thing ever to happen to him. Every second spent with Wally was a second worth living the hellish live he’d been dealt with.

_But if not dating him could have prevented Wally’s death…_

If…

“If he keeps this up…” Dick said trying to control his thoughts, “He’s gonna get himself killed… If he’s lucky… If he isn’t… If he ends up like me…” he turned to look at Conner, who was looking at him sadly, “I can’t… If you two continue _this_ , I’m gonna lose my brother, Conner.”

He knew he was pleading.

And he knew full well what he was asking.

He could only pray Conner understood and gave in. But, one look at the clone’s eyes and he knew his pleading had reached unsympathetic ears. “Dick… I… I can’t promise you he’s not gonna die or that I won’t. It’s part of what we _do_. But… He’s strong and we’ve talked about this.”

“Conner,” he tried, but Conner cut him off.

“I’m sorry Dick, but I’m not going to miss a chance of something that could be really good, for both of us, just because you’re scared of what might happen… over what happened two years ago…” He sighed sadly and stood up, “I know Wally’s death hurt you, to the point of turning you into a guy I barely even recognize… But… Dick, we can’t stop living only because we’re afraid over a bunch of what ifs”

“Con-” he tried again looking at Conner walking away and he moved to grab him, but he turned on his own and looked at him, “Oh, one more thing… You should know, I’ve been dating Tim for three months, now.”

Dick stopped and did a double take at Conner’s face…

He’s _what?_

Conner nodded, expecting his surprise, “Yeah, everyone knows too… That’s why Bart was surprised _you_ didn’t.” Dick thought back at the scene on the living room and realized that, in fact, Bart had seemed surprised.

He’d assumed it was directed at Tim, but…

_How could I miss this?_

_Three months…_

_What…_

“I’m not… criticizing your detective skills, Dick.” he said, reading him too well to Dick’s comfort, “I’m just… You might wanna consider the whole _losing Tim_ thing… What’s the point of having a brother, if you don’t call, don’t talk, and don’t see each other? If you don’t know what’s been going on in his life?” Conner turned around and left Dick standing there, in the middle of his bedroom. Conner stopped at the last second, on the door. “Death isn’t the only way of losing someone, Dick,” he said, and fuck him very much, but that sentence gave him a chill.

‘ _Are you no longer going to be my brother?_ ’

Was he losing Tim?

Dick turned to look at Conner, feeling his chest tighten as Conner walked out, to Tim. Conner’s boyfriend Tim. His brother Tim.

A brother he was losing.

A brother he didn’t knew stuff about.

There was a time, not too long ago, when the idea of being angry at Tim, of thinking of Tim as annoying, of not knowing something about Tim was _unthinkable_.

There was a time when the idea of Tim having a boyfriend and Dick _not knowing_ would be something out of a nightmare.

Dick took a breath.

He hadn’t known Tim had been in a relationship for _three months._

Fucking hell, he hadn’t known Tim _wasn’t straight_.

He didn’t knew if he was gay, or bi, or pansexual, or asexual.

Or anything, really.

 

He…

He wasn’t sure where Tim was living.

He wasn’t sure since when Tim, Bart and Conner started acting like a three person team.

_He didn’t knew… He didn’t knew his baby brother._

He stood up when he felt his breath failing him.

He remembered the night Jason had died. He remember the feeling of emptiness as he realized how much he’d _lost_ , how much he’d _missed_.

And right now, he’d had a brother and he was _missing_ being his brother. And right now, he was losing him.

_‘Death isn’t the only way of losing someone, Dick.’_

…

_‘I won’t let it break me. I won’t let it… turn me away from my family, from my friends’_

 

Dick felt that voice in his bones and had to sit back on the bed to prevent himself from falling face first on the floor.

_I…_

_I… can’t…_

_I can’t lose Tim. I can’t lose Bruce… I…_

_Please, Wally… I can’t lose them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> I know It's been a while since I posted this, and I want everyone to know that the story has already been written, and I'm mostly just doing minor edits; but life has been hard lately, so it's been difficult to update at the rate I would like.
> 
> I would love to read your thoughts, so I look forward to your comments.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Two years ago – A week before Endgame_ **

The sight from the Watchtower was quite impressive practically every night, but tonight it felt particularly special. The sun was hidden from view behind Earth, but its rays still bounced off both the moon and Warworld, giving both the celestial body and the giant machine an eerie shine that illuminated the otherwise dark infinite space before him.

Tomorrow will be the day. Kaldur had given the go.

The Reach and the Light were meeting in a single place and the Team was in charge of security. He would have laughed at the irony of it all, but he couldn’t. He’d almost lost Jaime, he’d lost Mt. Justice, and Kaldur, Artemis and Megan had only survived out of sheer luck. He’d bet too much on this gamble and it all hanged on tomorrow’s meeting.

If they did not achieve a conclusive victory, they would need to regroup, they would need to pull back Kaldur and Artemis and it might take them another five years of working tirelessly against a group willing to stay on the shadows for decades at a time in order to move pieces to high places.

He sighed, looking south, further ahead from Earth, to the place where the Justice League should be finishing the proceedings from their trial. With some luck, the meeting will give them enough intel to prove the League’s innocence.

It was _too much_.

But it was _ending_. **_Finally_** _._

And they had wins to show for: Megan’s escape, the cleansing of two Beetles, control of Warworld… although the key was still troublingly missing. Chances that the Light had it are still high, even if Kaldur claims not to know anything about it. That’s not even counting-

Two strong arms wrapped around him strongly, stopping his train of thought, and Dick had to relax his muscles when he heard Wally’s voice behind him, “You should be sleeping.”

He smiled and let his head fall back into his boyfriend’s shoulder feeling the stress leaving him as his boy’s warm body enveloped him, Wally buried his face itself in Dick’s neck and he turned his head to give him a clear path so Wally could nibble and kiss to his heart content.

“You really need to sleep,” Wally said against his skin and it gave Dick a shudder. “I can’t,” he replied honestly looking out, “Everything keeps repeating in my head,” he confessed knowing no one on the Team would be here this late. “I keep looking over everything. They always have been a step ahead, it… It worries me this time is not the exception. I fear they’ve been just playing us… We should have-”

“A contingency?” Wally guessed correctly, again showing how much he knew him “Why am I here then? Why is the _entire Team_ coming today?” Wally asked with a soft voice. He was right, Dick knew it. All the Team was scheduled to arrive as security in order to blindside every possible contingency the Light might have. They had over fifteen possible contingencies for different scenarios, including having taken down Deathstroke. Bringing Tim into the fold had been the right call, the kid showed a highly strategic mind capable of foreseeing lots of scenarios and make them play in his favor. “Babe, we have checked everything hundreds of times. Jaime and Kaldur confirmed both parties don’t know anything. They’re on the dark. This is good, it will be great.”

Wally turned him around softly and kissed his cheek. “Even if tomorrow isn’t the massive success I _know_ it will be, it will still be a devastating blow to the Light.” He beamed at him with the confidence Dick had been lacking up until that moment, and then he shrugged “Worst case scenario, we get rid of the Reach; regardless of the outcome with the Light, we _will_ get rid of them.”

Dick looked at him straight on and hummed in agreement “Yeah,” he was right. They had enough intel and enough information to break the confidence of the UN in the Reach and to sway public support back to the Justice League. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Wally smiled at him softly and said, “So, bed?” Dick smiled back and nodded, and one second he was on the edge of the Watchtower and the next he had been carefully laid in bed, his uniform gone, and only wearing boxers and his black undershirt.

Feeling the soft mattress under him and free of the weight of the armor on him he hummed pleasantly as all the weariness of the day fell like a ton of bricks on his body. “God, I’m so tired…” he groaned as his boyfriend took over the other side of their bed.

He looked at him with a playful smile and a raised eyebrow before saying in mock seriousness, “Well, babe. I get why it might confuse _you_ , but believe it or not, beds were not made just to have sex and pass out. You can also use them to sleep, rest and recover…”

Dick let himself laugh hard at that before moving his hand over his boyfriend’s naked chest. One of the great things about having a speedster boyfriend, they produce a lot of heat, so Wally almost always sleeps shirtless. Dick had taken advantage of that many, many times.

“Uhm, but sex is so fun…” he said in what had expected to be his sexy voice but instead came out as a sleepy groan.

It was Wally’s time to chuckle, and he took his hand and kissed it as he said, “Rest and recover, babe”

“Yeah,” Dick agreed, laying back down as Wally shifted in bed, to sleep with his head resting on his chest and tangling their legs together, he closed his eyes trying to conjure his sleep.

He was tired. He hadn't had a moment to really rest for the past… God, it honestly felt he hadn't rested since becoming Nightwing. He'd taken a lot of things Bruce and Alfie did for him for granted, and having to be an _adult_ was so _tiring_. Add to that the idea of being an _adult superhero._ Taxing didn't make it justice.

He opened his eyes focusing on the ceiling.

“I’m _real_ ly tired, Walls," he said after a second. "I think… With Kal back, and Babs and Tim. I mean, I think they're ready…" he muttered more to himself than to Wally but felt the second his speedster's head shot up looking at him and he looked down at him with a tentative smile.

Wally’s eyes widened, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

_No._

Dick knew Wally was probably thinking he was talking about hanging the cape, but honestly, Dick didn’t saw himself being able to pull that one, ever. The Fight, the Mission was too important. “A break, babe-” he clarified, “I need one. I really need one.”

Wally tilted his head thinking, considering, before smiling and nodding. "Let's take one, then," he said, as if it was a simple decision, like which cereal to eat at the morning or what shirt to wear to the Academy. Wally caressed his chest softly as he supported himself from his arm on the mattress and Dick supported himself on his shoulders to rise to his level, "Come to Palo Alto, we can stay there till August, when I have summer break we can take off for a couple of months. Bahamas, Bermuda, Hawaii, even a romantic weekend on Paris…" Wally had sat on the bed by the time he stopped talking and Dick had mirrored him.

“Sounds really nice,” Dick said imagining the white beaches and the possibility of being just him and Wally. No mission, no capes, no late night calls or early morning classes or lab experiments.

“Really nice,” Wally said resting his arm on Dick’s shoulder, “we should definitively do that. Right after this mission.” Dick nodded to him feeling an elation in his body at the idea of going on a vacation with Wally. He grinned back and plopped himself on the mattress before grinning brightly, “Plus, after this, I think Daddy Bats will be more than happy to lend you his credit card, so we can go crazy.”

\--

Dick blinked twice trying to process the-

_Nope._

“Please,” he groaned shutting his eyes closed hard trying not to think as he turned to see his boyfriend “promise me you’ll never ever, ever refer to Bruce as _Daddy Bats_ , ever again,” he groaned having to say that name. Wally had the gall to chuckle at him, earning himself a slap on the arm. “You know, I think I’ll be justified to break up with you if you ever say that again…” Dick said honestly looking at him hard. “Every jury in the _world_ would acquit me if I ever kill you for saying _that_ ever again…”

Now Wally was trembling next to him trying to contain his laughter and Dick's annoyed huff was enough to send him into a fit of loud laughter. Thankfully, the rooms were soundproof, because his howler would have awakened half the base by now.

Dick slapped him a couple of times and tried to muffle his laughter with a pillow, to no avail, having to surrender and laugh a little as he fell on the bed, tussling with Wally a couple of times trying to decide who slept on top of whom tonight.

In the end, they returned to the original position with Dick lying down, and Wally sleeping half propped on top of him.

After a couple of seconds of silence, where the only movements in the room were Wally's hand caressing his chest as his own hand petting that beautiful red hair; Dick said, "Bora Bora," surprising Wally, who hummed his agreement. "Mom always talked about once going to Bora Bora's white sand beaches," Dick said knowing it would cement their decision.

“Sounds good…” Wally said sounding sleepy “So, we kick Light’s ass tomorrow, we go to Palo Alto till the end of the semester, and then we go to Bora Bora.” He summarized, having his little speech cut down by two yawns.

“Sounds good,” Dick replied softly, closing his eyes again, this time finding it really easy to fall asleep.

-_-_-_-_-

**_Now_ **

A warm hand rested against his shoulder and Dick forced himself to look up from the floor where he was trying to stop his chest from failing him. He recognized Tim's face even though the tears he'd refused to let fall were currently blurring his sight.

“Are you ok?” Tim asked looking at him and Dick shook his head and cleaned his eyes standing upright and looking at his brother, “What happened? Did Conner…?”

Dick was quick to shake his head to dispel the darkness that had taken over Tim’s face “Nothing,” he managed to say with a clear voice, “had a little too much bottled up, I guess…”

That was an understatement. His head was a fucking mess right now, and three different conversations kept playing in a hellish loop in his head: His fight with Conner, his fight with Tim and Wally’s voice, reminding him of their stupid promise, all in repeat. So, he decided to focus on Tim.

His brother Tim.

A brother he'd apparently been neglecting so much, he'd failed to notice how far removed from his life he'd gotten. "Didn't know you liked guys…" Dick said as a way to get his mind back on track. Tim seemed to realize his intention because he moved his hand from Dick's shoulder and sat next to him in the bed. Dick took advantage of that and rested his temple on Tim's knee. He used to do this sometimes with Wally, sitting on the floor and resting his head on Wally's legs, he'd usually start to pet his hair almost immediately.

It felt almost cold when Tim didn't follow through, instead deciding to dramatically let himself fall on the bed.  "This is _so_ not how I wanted you to find out…” he muttered just loud enough for him to hear and Dick hummed a non-committal sound trying to nudge him to keep talking, but Tim just stayed there, in the bed, silently keeping him company.

Probably expecting him to compose himself.

Which he should, honestly.

Since last night, he had been in a bit of a clusterfuck. First, he gets into one of his episodes, triggered by _whatever_ , then he gets shot and fails to communicate, passes out after burning his leg, wakes up to Tim being a pain in the ass who just presses all the wrong buttons, finds out he’s dating Conner, and finally gets into a fight with his best friend that makes him realize he’s been a shitty brother. Something he’d sworn to himself he was _not_ going to let happen again.

But it had. He had let it happen and Dick had to own up to that. “Conner wasn’t sure you wanted me to find out at all…” he tried saying softly pressing his temple on Tim’s knee a little harder than he needed to.

“Yeah…” It hurt deeply in his chest having to listen Tim confirm it, because Dick still had a little bit of hope that Conner had been reading Tim wrong, that Tim would deny it and tell him that he was comfortable enough to tell him he wanted to date one of his best friends… Fuck, even the fact that he was gay. Or bi. Or whatever.

But he hadn’t. He’d agreed readily and it took a lot for Dick to remain composed and letting the silence in the room fill for the conversation they were supposed to be having. The problem was, Dick wasn’t exactly sure what that conversation was supposed to be about. Should he be trying to apologize for not being there? Should he be trying to comfort Tim into telling him he was not exactly against him and Conner? Should he be trying to fish out why his brother hadn’t come to him?

“I think I get why you freaked out, Bruce did too,” Dick had to seal his lips not to let his jaw tremble at that.

_Bruce knew._

_He knew before me._

_Tim trusted Bruce before he even trusted me._  

“So did I, honestly,” Tim continued, ignoring - or really unable to pay attention to - Dick as he looked straight to the ceiling from the bed, probably focusing his thoughts. Dick shook all thoughts from his mind and closed the terrible voice on his head calling himself a bad brother. He didn’t care, he just needed to fix everything right now. And that started by listening to Tim, paying attention to him. “I wasn’t expecting… this. Conner,” “I was telling you the truth, it _kind of happened_ -”

"You just fell in love him," Dick said recognizing the feeling. While thinking of Wally burned awfully in his soul, he remembered those few years in the beginning, when he was pinning to his _then thought to be straight_ best-friend, and how everything just fell right in place as he realized what he felt wasn’t just friendly care, but something deeper, clearer, more… Actually, just _more_.

"Woah!" Tim sat on the bed and turned to look at him with his eyes nearly out of their orbit and looking at him as if he'd grown a second head, Dick tilted his head looking at him surprised. "No, I… Way too soon, Dick, way too- Wait…" He was dramatically shaking his head as he denied the obvious, but then he stopped, looking at him in the eye and moved closer, with a suspicious look in his eyes as he said slowly "You didn't tell… Dick, please tell me you didn't tell Conner I was _in love_ with him,” he pleaded to him.

“Why-?” Dick furrowed his brow, trying to recall the conversation. He _might have_. It had been a little evident in Tim's face that he'd been in love with Conner so he might have assumed it. But…

“Oh _my God_ , Dick!” Tim exclaimed looking horrified, as if Dick had just stomped on his pet hamster or something, “We’ve barely got together _three_ months ago! That- It is _not_ that serious. We’re not… not even close to…”  “God, he’s going to think I’m some… some…”

“Hopelessly infatuated lover boy”

Tim groaned loudly and hit his head on the wall overdramatically, as Dick rolled his eyes at his antics. He really didn't get the drama, Wally had acted little similarly when he had said he loved him, way back when… Eventually, he'd gotten over it and he stopped blushing whenever Dick said it and started saying it back. Tim would get there, eventually… hopefully…

A cold wet feeling set on Dick’s back as he remembered his fears, of what would happen, of what Tim would do, for Conner, for his love…

“What did he say?” Tim cut his thoughts and Dick turned confused to look at him, not really following, “When you- told…” _Oh, Conner_ , Dick opened his mouth to tell him, but Tim raised his hand and put a fake, forced grin in his face “You know what? _I don’t care_ ," he shrugged walking away from Dick, "It's too soon… Way too soon," he said as he started pacing and Dick was starting to actually enjoy this, fighting not to grin " _So_ not having that conversation right now. It’s just… We’ve barely just got together. He knows that… He- I don’t care.”

“I honestly don’t think he noticed I said that…” Dick cut Tim’s tirade, feeling a little pity for his brother, who was obviously starting to getting more and more worked up over this. “Kind of glossed over it…” Dick said honestly.

“Oh.” Tim looked at him with just a hint of dejection, before he masked it with his previous fake detachment. “Yeah, that’s… As I said, not that serious.” _Bull. Shit._

Dick could see Tim is completely _whipped_ by Conner and he was an expert on recognizing that since he has been consistently the first one to call team couples, even before they knew they were a _thing_. But still, he could also see that Conner’s apparent disregard for it was sewing doubts in Tim’s mind, so he was quick to add “Well, at least he didn’t freak out,” smiling at him.

"Why would he…" he turned to ask him before he looked at him and saw Dick's smile and raised an eyebrow, so he stopped himself and muttered a soft "Nevermind," before sighing and sitting on the bed again. This time the silence that stretched between the two of them felt different. Similar to the one that they shared sometimes at the Watchtower or the Cave after a mission, when they were both too tired, but also really comfortable around each other.

Dick would normally think about his next missions, planning an escapade to see Wally, or just let the strain of the mission slip off his shoulders. He never really knew what Tim thought about at those times, but he could also tell that he let go. His rigid posture and over-analytical mind a little more at ease than whenever he donned the cape.

Dick felt a wave of nostalgia hit him hard at the memories, the different times he’d relaxed with his brother. Relaxed just by the knowledge they were both _there_. And now, it actually surprised him to be able to feel the same. Because he’d been taking him for granted.

Because he’d been letting himself fall down the rabbit hole of his loss for far too long.

“Tim, you… Did you meant-” he swallowed the knot in his throat before finishing the question. “Did you meant, the whole ‘ _not my brother’_ thing?” Dick felt Tim froze at that, and then he turn slowly to face him, still from the bed.

He stared at him for a good while, before sitting down, having that _puzzle_ d look on his face. The same one he used whenever he was reviewing one of the open case files and a piece of information just didn't fit. That look usually was accompanied by an inhuman amount of detective work and random connections that usually led to a leap of logic that sometimes managed to blindside even the Bat.

It was amazing, but it was also worrisome, as some of the leaps took Tim to very dangerous territories, a borderline mental state of conspiracy theories, impossibilities and craziness.

Dick didn't have to sustain the stare for too long, though, because Tim tilted his head slightly to the left before asking, "What did Connor say to you?" with a soft, curious tone, that had an undertone of _worry_ that Dick didn’t like.

Plus, Conner hadn’t said anything.

_‘Death isn’t the only way of losing someone, Dick.’_

Ok, he’d said _something_. But it wasn't the source of the question. He'd been mulling it over, for a couple of hours, since Tim used that statement to finish their conversation. He shook his head to convey that to Tim, knowing he'll get his meaning. And true enough, his brother huffed and rolled his shoulders, before answering "You'll always be my brother, Dick. A couple of fights aren't gonna change that," he stated matter-of-factly. "Siblings always fight, right?" he finished with a tentative grin and Dick replied with a small smile.

He missed this. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this. His brother, just being there with him.

_‘Babe, I need you to promise me…’_

Dick looked at Tim, sitting there, next to him, and he felt for the first time in a long time, he could be… he might be willing to- he might be _able_ to fulfill his promise to Wally.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> No, I haven't forgotten about this story - or this series -, It's just that it has somehow become hard for me to picture the scenarios... I don't know, I had everything really planned out and now... 
> 
> I blame the third season... I don't know, I had mixed feelings about it.
> 
> Anyway; I'm kind of happy with this chapter, even though it's a little short.
> 
> I hope you like it, I love reading your comments, so I look forward to read your thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> ...
> 
> Sorry?
> 
> I know this is really short, but I'll probably update in the next couple of days.


End file.
